Everywhere i go... Everywhere i look... Everywhere i hear... Love will always be in the air and it seems that everyone has their own girlfriend, boyfriend, fiancee, husband or wife... Teenagers from all sorts have girlfriends and some are attached already at such a young age... Frankly speaking this makes me really green with envy.... Kids at the young age like in Pri 6 are already in a relationship meanwhile a 19 year old boy like me who is in ITE has not even been in a relationship...

I guess i really am not a girl's type guy huh... What girls on this earth would want a Geek , Anime Freak , No Looks , No Interesting Personality guy like me... I am not hot... Neither am i handsome... Neither am i cute... Neither am i adorable... It is also not a surprise to me if parents of a girls will actually not liking to have me as a boyfriend who is fat and have no looks... Parents always wants the best for their chirldren won't they not??? There was one time a parent of my friend say that and my friend told me and i was really hurt in the inside but who is to blame...

It is true... For why on earth would girls would want a guy like me where they can go for guys who are handsome, cute and hot unlike me who are like whales... Full of blubber... heeex.. Criticising myself huh... Well.. Better hear it from me than someone else wont it... Whatever it is... I am sure that i will not find a girl or a family that will like me for who i am in the inside and not for the things that i give : material possesions and wealth... They like me for being me and accept me for who i am... HA!! Who am i kidding?? There are no such families or parents... For parents nowadays are only into guys who give their daughters wealth and material possesions... Ive gone through that scenario... Somewhat though...

It really hurts me inside but it is true... I think... For in the world that we currently live in, they no longer believe in the heart of the people... forgive me if this entry were to hurt any one's feelings... For i wrote it in this to vent my feelings out... This blog was no supposed to compose of my personal life but i have to for it really affected me in a lot of ways... both emotionally and physically... Especially emotionally...

In this world, i can only trust a few people... They make up of course my family and my friends... My parents, siblings i can trust. My closest cousin, Fairul is the only cousin whom i trust with all of my heart. Among my friends, Tauhid, Hang Giap, KC, Fairuzi, Habeebah and Filzah are the only one whom i really trust the most.

Frankly speaking i do not like to doubt people... Trusting people is much easier than doubting... I trust all my friends but only a few i will trust for me to tell my problems and such... Other than that... I trust almost everybody...

Hope has rekindled in my heart... Thanks to Tauhid's advice.. He's really the BESTEST FRIEND ever.. Yokkatta that i am his friend... Arigato go zai mas to kc, hang giap and tauhid.. You three are the BEST among all of my friends... Your kindness is beyond this world...

I like the feel of nature... Like the wind blowing, like the water flowing, the sound of the earth, the warmth from fire. Sometimes it feels that Nature is a part of me... When everytime i look at the vast sky or the vast ocean, i can sometimes feel as if Nature is talking to me...

The rustling of the leaves, the calm, cooling blow of the wind that caress me, the moving water that beats lightly and yet feel its calm... Whenever i feel alone and my heart is feeling unrest i will always look at Nature and it will always seem to calm me down and and i can actually feel that they are talking to me... I have always adore and admire Nature ever since Primary School and Nature has always been my friend. I can still remember one time where i have nothing to do during recess during primary sch, i will always go to this tree and i will talk to it and i feel its answer through its rustling leaves... During that time, I have no friends and my only friend in Primary School is the Nature around me... Even when i am in Secondary School, Nature is still my friends and Nature are my 2nd BESTEST friends in the whole world...

Whenever i am feeling alone or lonely, i will always look around me and sometimes i feel that the trees, flowers and plants around me are talking to me and calming my heart... Until now, they are the only one who really knows what i am feeling and going through right now... God has already know what i am feeling right now... Whenever i am feeling down or feel that i am not wanted in a society like in Singapore, i will always look and listen to sound of nature with my heart... And they will always help me to feel good... Besides my bestfriends like Tauhid and my good friends like KC, Hang Giap and Filzah... They have always been there for me... And i really am grateful.. However when they are not there for me, my Nature friends are there in turn for me..

Nature and its animals have always been there for me... They keep me happy and they make me believe in what i believe... I truly thank them.. However, i am furious with myself... I am really pathetic... I could not even repay any of their kindness... I owe a lot to my friends: Bestfriends, Goodfriends and Nature buddy... I do not know what to do to repay them... Nature has always been abused by the humans.. I want to do something but the only thing that i can do is just by talking to them... However i have vowed to myself that i will help all of my friends and i will always remain true to myself.. That what my friends have taught me...