Life of an Otaku

I guess I have changed huh... I am just not able to sync well with any people I met... Only a few I managed to sync well and yet... Haizzzz... Even though I'm use to being alone... I still don't like to be alone but what can I do about it? I'm not really that exciting or wonderful or an interesting person to hang out with... People say I'm kind and everything but maybe I'm being kind because I want them to like me not because I mean it... Maybe... just maybe... Life in poly is totally different and I'm not really happy one bit when i am in poly... I love the course and also certain modules but to exactly say that I am pleased... I am not really sure...

I'm surrounded by interesting people... Very interesting people worthy to be researched... But nevertheless... I am after all but just a shadow... Like in my previous post where the moon reflecting the sun's light and I am like the moon itself who can't shine on their own? Well... I am like the shadow as well... People would generally not noticed shadows as they are not detectable and their presence usually forgotten... That's right... That is what I am feeling right now... Yes... That's right... I am being ignored... and I am not being entertained... My friends... My poly mates... I guess I am just but will be a shadow... destined to be alone...

I guess I deserved it seeing I myself am creating that barrier around myself but even so... To treat me as if I am not in existence... its something which I mostly could not forgive them... Yes... I could not forgive many things... People who take my kindness for advantage... I really despised them... People who make friends with me for their own advantage... I will do it to you as well and you will not like it... I despise backstabbers... and I will backstabbed you even worse than what you have done to me... I do not mind if you insulted me like one hell... But never insulted those whom I care... I will make sure you undergo Hell first...

Yes... I am the moon ever lonely and only shine when it's friends shine... I know my stand in this society... People hate and despised me... Fine... I'm used to it... Those whom I consider friends... have betrayed me except those close to me... Once a shadow will always be a shadow...